"In a
survey 100 women were asked if they would sleep
with Bill Clinton.
80% said "never again"
Q. What does Monica and a soda machine have in
common?
A. They both have slots that say "Enter Bill
Here".
Q. Why didn't Clinton have to pay his way
through college?
A. He got a fellatioship
Q. What is the title of Monica Lewinsky's book
about her days as a White House Intern?
A. "Famous People I Have Blown"
Q. Why did Bill Clinton like Monica Lewinsky as
an intern?
A. Because she was great on his White House
staff.
Q: Why does Bill Clinton wear underpants?
A: To keep his ankles warm.
Q: What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill Clinton
would like to have?
A: A dead girl friend.
Q: What do Monica Lewinsky and Bob Dole have in
common?
A: They were both upset when Bill finished
first.
Q: What is the difference between Clinton and
the Titanic?
A: Only 200 women went down on the Titanic.
Q: How does Bill keep Monica Lewinsky away from
the White House?
A: He keeps offering to send Ted Kennedy over to
give her a ride.
Q: What's the definition of an Arkansas Virgin?
A: A girl that can run faster than the Governor.
Q. Does Bill regret spending any money on
Monica?
A. Only splashing out on that dress.
Q. What's "the" game in the White House these
days?
A. SWALLOW THE LEADER.
Q. What government benefit will Bill Clinton
lose should the allegations in the Starr Report
be proven true, and he is forced to resign from
his position as President of the United States
and Commander-in Chief of the Armed Forces ?
A. He will no longer be eligible for burial in
The Tomb Of The Unblown Soldier...
Q. What's the difference between the Queen of
England and the President of the US?
A. You only have to go down on one knee in front
of the Queen.
Q. How did Monica get those stains on her dress?
A. Bill told her not to inhale.
Q. What did Bill Clinton say to Paula Jones?
A. NOW you decide to open your mouth...
Q. Who was Hillary's pick to replace Monica as
an intern?
A: Lorena Bobbett.
Q: What is Bill's definition of safe sex?
A: When Hillary is out of town.
A man walks into a T-Shirt store and on the
walls there where three t-shirts on display for
sale.
The first row had the picture of Richard Nixon
with a thin white mustache and below the picture
it was titled: GOT MILK
The second row of shirts were the picture of
Ronald Reagan with the white mustache and it was
titled: FORGOT MILK
And the third was of Monica Lewinsky with a
white mustache and under her it was titled: NOT
MILK
What do Monica Lewinsky and Soda Pop machines
have in common?
Answer:
They both have slots which say "Insert 'Bill"
here."
What help wanted ad did Monica Lewinsky answer?
Be a White House intern, and get a taste of the
Presidency!
There's a new Bill Clinton computer coming out
soon.
It will have a six-inch hard drive, but no
memory.
Did you hear that when this scandal is over that
Monica plans to sell
her story?
She said she would tell it Blow by Blow.
What's Monica going to title her memoirs? "How
to suckseed in the Oval
Office without really trying!"
Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear?
--To keep his ankles warm.
Why can't they prosecute Bill Clinton?
Monica swallowed the evidence
Why does Monica Lewinsky have such puffy cheeks?
--She's withholding evidence.
What’s the difference between Clinton and a
screw driver?
A screw driver turns in screws and Clinton
screws interns.
Why does Monica refuse to play golf with Bill?
Because she's tired of his balls hitting her in
the face.
