When
Bill Clinton completed 5 years of his
Presidency, he wanted a special postage stamp
issued with his picture on it.
He so instructed Hillary, stressing that it
should be of international quality. The stamps
were duly released and Clinton was pleased. But
within a couple of days of release of the stamp,
he began hearing complaints that the stamp was
not sticking properly, and he became furious.
He called Hillary and ordered her to investigate
the matter. Hillary checked the matter out at
several post offices, and then reported on the
problem to Clinton.
She said: "There is nothing wrong with the
quality of the stamp. The problem is, people are
spitting on the wrong side."
Bonus
The year: 2031 - President Clinton finishes
his time on earth and approaches the Pearly
Gates of Heaven.
"And who might you be?" inquires St. Peter.
"It's me, Bill Clinton, formerly the President
of the United States and Leader of the Free
World."
"Oh... Mr. President! What may I do for you?"
asks St. Peter.
"I'd like to come in," replies Clinton.
"Sure," says the Saint. "But first you have to
confess your sins.
What bad things have you done in your life?"
Clinton bites his lip and answers, "Well, I
tried marijuana, but you can't call it
'dope-smoking' because I didn't inhale. There
were inappropriate extramarital relationships,
but you can't call it 'adultery' because I
didn't have full 'sexual relations.' And I made
some statements that were misleading, but
legally accurate, but you can't call it ‘bearing
false witness' because, as far as I know, it
didn't meet the legal standard of perjury.
With that St. Peter consults the Book of Life
briefly, and declares, "OK, here's the deal.
We'll send you somewhere hot, but we won't call
it Hell.' You'll be there indefinitely, but we
won't call it 'eternity.' And when you enter,
you don't have to "abandon all hope", just don't
hold your breath waiting for it to freeze
over..."
