It has been six months since I left for college.
I'm sorry I haven't written more often and I'm
very sorry for my un-thoughtfulness. I'm sure
you have been worried about me. Let me bring you
up to date, but before you read on, please sit
down Ok? Don't read any further unless you're
sitting down. Ok? Good.
I am getting along pretty well now. The skull
fracture and the concussion I got from jumping
out of the window of my dormitory when it caught
on fire several months ago are pretty much
healed now.
I only spent two weeks in the hospital! Mom
always said the girls in our family heal fast.
In fact, I can almost see normally again and I
only get headaches three times a day now.
Fortunately, the fire in the dormitory and my
jump were witnessed by a gas station attendant
who immediately called 911. He's so sweet.
He even visited me in the hospital, and since I
had nowhere to live because of the burnt-out
dorm, he was kind enough to invite me to share
his apartment with him. It's really a basement
room, but it's kind of cute.
He really is a good person with a kind heart. We
have fallen deeply in love and are planning to
get married. We haven't set the exact date yet,
but I'm sure that it will be before I start to
show.
That's right, Mom and Dad, I'm pregnant! I know
how much you are looking forward to being
grandparents, and I know that you will give that
baby the same love, devotion and tender care you
gave me when I was growing up.
We would get married now but we both failed our
premarital blood tests because of some minor
infection. He told me about it beforehand, but
dumb me, I carelessly caught it anyway. Not to
worry though, the doctor said my daily
penicillin injections should clear it up by next
month. I know you will welcome him into our
family with open arms. He is kind, and although
not well educated, he is ambitious -- just like
Dad! Also, he is of a different race and
religion than ours, but I know, after all your
years of teaching me tolerance, that you won't
mind the fact that he is somewhat darker than we
are. I'm sure you will love him as I do. His
family background is good too! He tells me that
his father is an important gun bearer in his
native African village. That's an important
government position where he comes from. Well, I
guess that's all!
Now you know why I wanted you to sit down when
you read this letter.
Now that I've brought you up to date, I just
wanted to let you know there was no dormitory
fire, I didn't suffer a concussion or a skull
fracture, I wasn't in the hospital, I'm not
pregnant, I'm not engaged, I don't have syphilis
and there is no boyfriend of another race or
religion in my life; however, I DID vote for
Gov. Bush, and I just wanted you both to see
that in its proper perspective.
Your loving daughter, Chelsea
P.S. Stanford is great... I love it, though I
miss you both terribly...and Socks, too!
P.S.S. Dad, please give my best to Monica and
the others.
