If Dr
Seuss had been President instead of Clinton —
his deposition might have read something like
this.
I did not do it in a car
I did not do it in a bar
I did not do it in the dark
I did not do it in the park
I did not do it on a date
I did not even fornicate
I did not do it at a dance
I did not do it in her pants
I did not get beyond first base
I did not do it in her face
I never did it in a bed
If you think I did, you've been misled
I did not do it with a groan
I did not do it on the phone
I did not cause her dress to stain
While talking to Saddam Housein
I did not do It with a whip
I did not fondle Linda Tripp
I never acted really silly
With volunteers like Kathleen Willey
There was one time, with Margaret Thatcher
Chased her round, but could not catch her
No kinky stuff, not on your life
I would not, could not, with my wife
Now, that Miss Flowers' tale of woes
was paid for by my right-wing foes
and Paula Jones and those State Troopers
Are just a bunch of party poppers
I did not ask my friends to lie
And then just hang them out to dry
I did not do it last November
And if I did, I don't remember
I did not do it in the hall
I could have, but I don't recall
There was no sex at Arlington
There was no sex on Air Force One
I might have copped a little feel
And then endeavored to conceal
But I never did these things so lewd
At least not even in the nude
These things to which I have confessed
They do not count if we stayed dressed
I never used that big cigar
You must believe me, Mr. Starr
I did not know this little sin
Would be retold on CNN
I broke some rules my Mama taught me
I tried to hide, but now you've caught me
But I implore, I do beseech
Do not condemn, Do not impeach
I might have told a little tail
But never, ever did I inhale
