You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.
 

You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
 

You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more threatening than nuclear weapons in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists (and now, Iranian Mullahs).
 

You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
 

You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by documented cyclical changes in the earth's climate than by soccer moms driving SUV's.
 

You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by foreigners, including the Chinese Government is acceptable, but that Tom Delay should be in jail for skirting (apparently legally) a Texas law to use the contributions of American citizens. (A pox on both parties' money raising activities.)
 

You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
 

You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach the same kids about sex.
 

You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.
 

You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
 

You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.
 

You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports parts of the Constitution.
 

You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
 

You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.
 

You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.
 

You have to believe that Michael Moore and Hillary Clinton are nice, normal people, while George Bush, Carl Rove, Condoleezza Rice, and most Christians are evil.
 

You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.
 

You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
 

You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.