Bill Clinton's Retirement Plans

1. Spend more quality time with Chelsea and her 13 half brothers and sisters.

2. Tour the nations' prisons to improve conditions, visit friends.

3. Write book: "The American Presidency: An Oral History."

4. Buy a Hooter's franchise.

5. Catch up on eight-year stack of "Penthouse."

6. Search for a new outlet for well-developed lying and cheating skills.

7. Continue work-counseling interns.

8. Stop using fake names in personal ads.

9. Take little Buddy out three times a day -- also walk the dog.

10. Get to know those Gore girls better.