We join Phil Chambers on his first day of work
as an orderly. He reports to staff member M. T.
Potts.
---------------
Potts: You the new guy?
Chambers: Yeah.
[Sudden screaming heard down the hall.]
Chambers: What's that?
Potts: Oh. That's just Mr. Gore.
Chambers: Who's this Chad person he's calling?
Is that his son?
Potts: I think it must be his daughter. He talks
about her dimples all the time. She must have
lots of kids too. He talks about her being
pregnant a lot.
Chambers: Wow.
Potts: He's a real pain in the butt. Every day
it's the same thing. I go to get his dinner
tray, he throws a bed pan at me and yells, 'Give
it back Governor Bush! It was intended for me!'
Chambers: What's that all about?
Potts: I don't know. But he usually cries the
rest of the day. He often screams out, "It's
mine!" And starts calling for Mr. Boies and Mr.
Daley.
Chambers: Who are they?
Potts: Old man Daley used to stay down the hall.
He died several years ago. He used to say the
strangest things. I remember the day he died. He
looked straight at me and said; "Don't think for
a minute this will stop me from voting!"
Chambers: And that other guy. What was his name?
Boy
something?
Potts: Boies. I think he used to be a lawyer or
something. I hear he was disbarred a long time
ago, though. He finally quit coming around.
Until he did though it was the same thing each
time. He would say something about there being
no more appeals and Mr. Gore would try to hit
him with his cane.
Chambers: Sounds strange.
Potts: You think their strange, you should see
this other guy that sometimes comes around. Car
something. Cartown? Carville! That's it. Really
weird looking bald old man. He comes in stands
at the end of Mr. Gore's bed, points at him and
laughs like some kind of hyena.
Chambers: Does he say anything?
Potts: Oh yeah. He babbles on non-stop for about
an hour, but nobody can understand him. I don't
think he speaks English.
Chambers: Weird. Who was this Gore guy anyway?
Potts: I don't know. I think he was Vice
President once.
Chambers: Really? Under who?
Potts: Clinton, I think.
Chambers: The former Chancellor of Oxford?
Potts: Yeah.
Chambers: Wow. Did they ever figure out what
caused that gonorrhea plague there back in 2001?
Potts: Nope.
Chambers: I guess the government must pay for
Mr. Gore's bills here, huh.
Potts: No, actually the local Buddhist monastery
pays for it.
Chambers: Really?
Potts: Yeah. A monk comes by each month with a
check from some Chinese bank.
Chambers: Wow.
Potts: Well. Come along. It's time for Mr.
Gore's enema. Oh but don't call it that around
Mr. Gore! We have to call it, 'stuffing the
ballot box'!
